Falling for the bad apples?
Based on being experienced in failure, I came with a conclusion that there are many parts of life and emotion that are part of the human condition, which can turn love into something very harmful.
Love makes you put another person’s welfare above your own. It is a motivator. A powerful one that can make you neglect yourself without ever realizing it.
It’s easy to think of examples where loving the wrong person can hurt you. If you love someone who is abusive you can be hurt physically. If you love someone who cheats on you it can hurt you emotionally. If you love someone who uses others you can be hurt financially. If you love someone with poor morals it can cause spiritual damage or weaken your morals.
I think I fall in the category of poor morals. I’ve been in love with people I can’t love, I remember a leftover of mine (sorry dear), she is now divorced with a child, I didn’t want to go that far, apparently she did and she’s such an angel… we’re only “friends” now.
Do I think I have poor morals? well, she is not perfect either, she fell for it.
Loving the right person can be harmful, too. You can find someone who is good, kind, moral, and perfectly your type. These may be some of the qualities that contribute to your falling in love in the first place. But if you are not right for each other in some very critical ways, even a good person can be the wrong person to love.
One of the greatest tragedies in life… or let’s say Drama I lived, is love that is not returned in kind. If you love another person but they do not feel the same for you, you may spend months or even years chasing after them. Your energy and potential are drained away from you, wasted on an ill-chosen focus. The person you love is worthy of attention and effort, but they don’t truly benefit from it in a meaningful way. And since they are good-hearted, your ardor on their behalf is actually a cause of discomfort to them. Instead I’m just good friends with this case (you know who you are…)
Some people keep saying this over and over again: “You will find love, or love will find you. Just hold out for the right, right person.”
Love is bullshit, I’ve decided to lock my heart for good, yes.. I’m just a greedy needy person now! do my needs and stop, don’t expect me to fall back. I’ve been hurt enough the past 3 years, so I don’t think anything would hurt me more… Call me a slut, a whore or whatever! I’m not ashamed, yes… beware, I might sleep with your girlfriend, your wife and trust me… I won’t feel bad!
Thanks for reading, I am enjoying my bathtub, candles and neither Amy Winehouse or Radiohead are helping…
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I don’t agree with a lot of what you say, but I thoroughly enjoy your style of writing mostly because of your target readers, you are a particularly rebellious one.
Cheers
PS If i was in Kuwait I’d come over and give you a hug.
Thanks Majd…
Hey Moey I know where you are coming from and let me say that I have been through a similair experience which I got out with such a very weird mix of feelings but I bounced back I now have a convication that some people God has created to be on thier own and that is not a bad thing they feel thier best on thier own.. hence i came back to blogging and hence came the name of the blog which is now my motto hope you enjoy your bubble bath without radiohead or Amy winehouse.. try listening to Opeth “death whispeared a lullaby” an amazing song..
I disagree with you Moey. You would be missing a lot locking your heart. If you had some bad experiences it doesnt mean that love is bad. In the contrary you can benefit from a lover in every possible way in your life. A partner can be a support for you in every possible way, encouraging you to go on in life and achieve whatever you cant do it alone.
Life itself has a different taste when you have someone to love besides you. It is amazing how different its taste can be. The most boring things can be amusing with a lover.
Don’t deprive yourself of love. Search for it and when you find it, never let it go NEVER
I couldnt agree more on what Sarah just said to you Moey .. For some odd reason love is so undercontrolable and you cannot do anything for it .. I have to be honest and I have to say that Ive been through alot like these experinces alot .. But those experinces made me a stronger and better person .. I do not believe in something called “Love” .. I just dont .. I mean it never helps when you are having lets say Exams.Work.Hanging out with friends I do mean that you spent your whole day thinking about that specfic someone did that person eat/drink/sleep/had a shower and you know all the rest of that story .. And the next thing you know and find out that day has gone by and you havnt done anything productive whatsoever and knowing as well in the other side of your mind that that someone isnt thinking about you from the first place .. That person “claims” to be thinking about you but the sad truth He/She isnt .. I love you is 8 words and so is Bullshit .. Thats all I want to say here sorry for taking so long
Sarah Opeth song “Death Whispered a Lullaby” is beyond amazing I am listening to it right now
I have nothing to add or alter or remove, but here’s a hug for you cuz that’s all I can give for you now
*hug*
Well,i think love is fire and fire burns.I was sick of people telling me about “Love will come and you will find the right one and bla bla bla bla bla bla”
I quit love,love doesn’t make the world go around,the world moves by itself,love is not everything,it’s just one splendid thing.I find myself comfy with my own skin,i might sound harsh but nobody is worth it…for what,then after years betray and leave,oh hell no baby!!!!!! Im done,i won’t spend myself fighting and waiting,i have better things to do!
Bobby, dont deprive yourself of love either.
Love may not make the world go around, but it does add colors to a dull world.
No body worths it? It isn’t about the others, it is about YOU. You need it, and deserves it.
It shouldnt be that hard, I mean to fight and wait. Just look for the right person, and he/she would appear of no where, dont shut it down.
Going through what I call “My Desperation Phase” was horribly awful, it damaged me both physicaly and emotionaly. Like u said, i kept on chasing what seemed to me as impossible to have.. hence making me chase even more faster :s…
It realy was a self-damaging road for me.I felt worthless and stupid, and that maybe i should just go die. Nothing and no one seemed to interest me, and the world without my desire just didn’t feel worth it.
Anyone who relates to anything i just said, my advice to you is : At the end of every tunnel there is light =D! So hold on to any hope you have left, it’ll serve you well. Unless the light is only a train comming your way :S lol..