A “modern” Islamic couple, preparing for a religious wedding meets with their Mullah for counseling.
The Mullah asks if they have any last questions before they leave. The man asks “We realize it’s tradition in Islam for men to dance with men, and women to dance with women. But, at our wedding reception, we’d like your permission to dance together.”
“Absolutely not” says the Mullah. “It’s immoral. Men and women always dance separately.”
“So after the ceremony I can’t even dance with my own wife?” says the man.
“No” answered the Mullah, “It’s forbidden in Islam“.
“Well, okay” says the man, “What about sex? Can we finally have sex?”
“Of course!” replies the Mullah, “Allah ho Akber! Sex is OK within marriage, to have children!”
“What about different positions?” asks the man.
“Allah ho Akber! No problem” says the Mullah.
“Woman on top?” the man asks. “Sure” says the Mullah. “Allah ho Akber. Go for it!”
“Doggy style?”
“Sure! Allah ho Akber!”
“On the kitchen table?”
“Yes, yes! Allah ho Akber!”
“Can we I do it with all my four wives together on rubber sheets with a bottle of hot oil, a couple of vibrators, leather harnesses, a bucket of honey and a porno video?”
“You may indeed. Allah ho Akber!”
“Can we do it standing up?”
“No” says the Mullah.
“Why not?” asks the man. “Because that could lead to dancing“…
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Comments ( 43 )
You know, While reading it I imagined the accent of the mullah in Indian, and the last line in Indian cracks me up each time I read it. LOL
palforce added these pithy words on
Apr 19 07 at
1:50 am
Yeah, that was great. And I don’t care what culture I’m in, I’ll never dance with a man, by the way.
Dave added these pithy words on
Apr 19 07 at
8:24 am
ola added these pithy words on man i dont mind, jokes, all kind of jokes, but i really really think this one is a bad one, non Muslims read your blog, you should reflect a better image for islam.
and “Allah ho Akber!” .. why using that in the joke ?! …
think about it, and have a nice day
dadan added these pithy words on
Apr 19 07 at
3:19 pm
not funny because islam never forbade dancing with the wife, try harder
Radi Radi added these pithy words on
Apr 19 07 at
11:06 pm
maybe islam didnt forbid dancing with wife, but islamic (arab) CULTURE did instead.
Roger added these pithy words on
Apr 21 07 at
12:53 am
i found it quite funny,i beigining to think humour is a sin in islam.
phillip added these pithy words on
May 01 07 at
5:12 pm
Mohommed heard one of his wives was leaving him, so he rushed home, she was on the carpet in front of the tent with her belongings, he sat beside her and said “I heard you were planing to leave me” she said “yes, I heard your other wives saying you were a pedophile” so mohommed thinks for a minute or so and then he responds “that is a mighty big word for a 6 year old”……
Aisha was his brothers daughter whom he took at age 6, but tried to take much younger, so maybe incest needs to be added into this joke.
If the shoe fits, wear it…..
gagster added these pithy words on
Jul 21 07 at
1:23 am
Funny.Muslims are so 12th century. they dont even have the decency to LOOK cool like Native Americans. Just fucking pathetic.
richard added these pithy words on
Aug 29 07 at
4:32 pm
christains, muslims, jew etc are all trouble.. they dont preach life and peace in their actions, they kill, cheat and dishonour their own gods.. they overlook LOVE and only see EYE for an EYE.. Take each others hand and breed out this anger before its to late
mick added these pithy words on
Sep 10 07 at
2:50 pm
I’m not sure what the concern about non-muslims reading this segment is. This same joke is told as a two liner on fundamental baptists (who do forbid dancing with anyone. )
Q: Why don’t Baptists have sex standing up?
A: Because they are afraid that people will think they are dancing.
Anonymous added these pithy words on
Sep 16 07 at
11:29 pm
terrible joke
plus it makes no sense
couples can dance
and the intercourse with multiple wives is NOT allowedonce again terrible joke
making muslims look bad
what kind of image r u going 4?
naeema added these pithy words on
Sep 23 07 at
9:56 pm
i love it. the fact that muslim extremists see blowing up innocent people as fun, then i think this joke should be on the main news each night
jihad johnny (andyC) added these pithy words on
Oct 03 07 at
7:31 pm
well may i say that all people who practice religion, of any knid then you are deluded. wake up and see that you are wasting the very short lives that you have
wesley added these pithy words on
Nov 02 07 at
10:30 pm
i think anyone who uses words like allahu akbar and doggy style in the same sentence is a degenerate whose parents probably came from an uneducated or criminal background and spent their time boozing and abusing each other instead of imparting some morals on their poor offspring.
not-a-an-mtv-wannabe added these pithy words on
Nov 03 07 at
1:45 pm
Uhh, no. You CAN dance with your wife in Islam. It never says men should dance with men, nor does it stress that women should dance with women. And women dance with women everywhere, in America, Europe, whatever. Don’t tell me I’m wrong, I’m semi-muslim, I know my (semi)religion. If you want to post a racist joke, make it funny.
And gagster, he took Aisha at 12, which was common in those days. Plus he was his FRIEND’s daughter. Get your facts right.
Idiots.. added these pithy words on
Nov 09 07 at
12:56 pm
a muslin down our road doused himself with petrol and set himself on fire. he died , we had a colection for his family we got eigthy liters
paul added these pithy words on
Nov 14 07 at
10:20 pm
That joke is very good. I guess Muslims don’t like it. Too bad. They are the ones that cannot tolerate anybody that is not a Muslim, and they call us Racists?.. I say “Piss on them”.
I have another joke you can post:
This Muslim dies and gets to the perly gates. St-Peter says: “Welcome to Heaven”. The Muslim says “There must be a mistake. I am a Muslim and I was told I could meet with Mohamed after I dies.
St-Peter says: “Tha’ts fine. Just go up the stairs to your right. It will take you to the next level.
As he gets to the next level, Moses greets him to Heaven. Again the Muslim says ;” I am a Muslim, I am here to see Mohamed”.
Moses says;” That’s fine, take the stairs to the left and go up to the next level.
As he gets up to the next level, God greets him and welcomes him to Heaven. Again, the Muslim says; “I am a Muslim and I am here to see Mohamed.
God says “That’s fine, but first, would you like to have a coffee?.
The Muslim says “O.K”. So God turns around and yells “Hey, Mohamed, Bring us 2 coffees….”
Serge added these pithy words on
Nov 21 07 at
4:00 pm
Nice joke. It’s annoying how Muslims get so serious after harmless jokes. Right now mobs of Muslims are screaming for the death of a teacher that named her teddy bear Mohammad (I DON’T CARE HOW IT’S SPELLED!) Muslims, seriously, GO GET A LIFE!
Shade added these pithy words on
Dec 01 07 at
12:06 am
We shoul laugh a our tragedies, and the relegion is one such tragedy.
sathi added these pithy words on
Dec 19 07 at
1:01 pm
You guys insult our religion. It is not right to say bad language like these comment. If any Muslim will read this, they will angry. You should respect our religion. I still respect your other religion. I’m Muslim because you can’t insult my feeling.
Mustafa added these pithy words on
Jan 01 08 at
7:42 am
What does mohammed and a teddy bear have in common?
They both sleep with children.
Guv added these pithy words on
Jan 03 08 at
4:19 pm
Right. We’ll start respecting “your religion” when you stop living like savages. You want to live by arbitrary rules and feel like ignoring simple rules that all modern societies abide by, be my guest but you don’t get to dictate what I or anyone else can find funny. And you certainly don’t get to censor us.
This is not Denmark. What are you going to do? Blow up another building and kill another 4,000 innocent men, women and children. Religion of peace – ridiculous!
Moesha added these pithy words on
Jan 04 08 at
8:56 pm
LOL. As a muslim, I thought some of these jokes were funny. But again, some were offensive. Hey! there just jokes, no need to get a cow. lol
I love reading these jokes. I do agree, us muslims should stop and take a look around. There are many extremists, so we’ve gotta stop and laugh about it. Laughter is fun.
Elizabeth added these pithy words on
Dec 08 08 at
9:29 am
19 Dec 2008
That’s a very funny joke, Moey. I am familiar with it in the form of referring to a Baptist couple in the United States.
The joke surely adapted well to a “muslim” joke!
Turandot added these pithy words on
Dec 20 08 at
2:05 am
I cannot see why you all make jokes about muslims or mohomedans or whatever when they bomb us, hate us, etc. I would be afraid to put my name on this page because I know what they can do. They are right, Catholics should be afraid, very afraid. They will destroy us, so please don’t antagonise them
simon added these pithy words on
Dec 21 08 at
8:18 pm
it is quite funny… humor is supposed to be taken in right sense! dont take it seriously!
you cannot progress unless you learn to laugh at yourself!
Sam Haskins added these pithy words on
Jan 02 09 at
9:35 pm
Hahahahahahhahha Funny!
Silly Muslims.
Binyam Mohamed Aka The Twat added these pithy words on
Feb 26 09 at
5:21 am
hahahahah that was funny not u fucking moey fockey if ur gonna effing be racist then f****** dont expect muslims not 2 be racist…. how bout u go back 2 bethlehem and jerasulem jerkysulem hahahhah now that funny obviously u non muslims watch porno films and this is what u do with priests… now wonder u wrote it because its about u! hahhaahhahaahha lol racist cows!!
fatema ( fuck christians hahahha and non muslims) added these pithy words on
Mar 12 09 at
10:04 pm
absolutely hillarious ! hhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh
aseel added these pithy words on
May 17 09 at
6:08 pm
How can u abuse religion can that mean those non-muslims have no respect for themselves n others take care.
Hashkey added these pithy words on
May 17 09 at
11:17 pm
actually reading this made me think of the scene from “fiddler on the roof” where at the wedding one guy convinces the traditional people that it is ok for men and women to dance together, despite a tradition of not doing so.
as for this joke being offensive… who cares, it’s a joke. if you can’t have a sense of humor about things you may as well go ahead and kill yourself because the world isn’t going to cater to your whims, ever.
DaBeef added these pithy words on
Jul 08 09 at
8:18 pm
Dear All, As a European Muslim (of “immigrant stock”), I fail to see the fun side of derogatory and fantastical stabs at others bandied around as “jokes”. Don’t get me wrong, contray to many opinions, I do enjoy a laugh – but not at the expense of others, their beliefs, personalities, values, creed,gender or disabilities. Besides, it appears that many of the commentators here are keen to dismiss any criticism of the “joke” by assertion of the “Muslim Stereotype”, reinforcing the “them and Us” and “they don’t have a sense of humour” as well as “we don’t need to pander to them” etc etc. Guys, a wise man once said, when we speak, it says more about us than it does about those we talk about. To those Muslim’s commenting using very distasteful langauge, what can I say, so sad to see that you are serving to reinforce these stereotypes well. Lead where others will follow – don’t follow those in whose paths lies much chaos.
Imran Ali added these pithy words on
Feb 05 10 at
2:48 am
